


these stolen holes of space and time

by ClockworkDinosaur



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anniversary, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Panic Attacks, Post-Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-26 01:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20035897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockworkDinosaur/pseuds/ClockworkDinosaur
Summary: losing things to time is normal, but scary nonetheless





	these stolen holes of space and time

**Author's Note:**

> i did a hit on taako and im sorry
> 
> title from the song "An Idiot" by Phemiec

Candles flickered on every surface, the only illumination in the room. A fire hazard for certain, but Kravitz figured the reward of romantic ambiance outweighed the risk of the house burning down. The warm light made the room cozy, aided by the scent of chicken and vegetables roasting in the oven. A simple but comforting dinner, and one of the few dishes that Kravitz was comfortable making on his own and that could impress Taako. He loved Taako, but the man was impossible to please when it came to food.

The evening would be perfect. Taako was out shopping with Lup and had no idea that Kravitz had plans to surprise him. He took a moment, leaning against the kitchen counter with a contented smile, to reminisce about the past few years. Balancing on the edge of the apocalypse just to wrest victory from hopelessness. Taako, harried and tired, launching himself at Kravitz like a drowning man reaching land. The Raven Queen, inscrutable, smiling as she tasks Kravitz with training her new employees, ensuring that Kravitz would find a place in the odd extraterrestrial family. Taako, breaking down his self imposed barriers and letting Kravitz in to see parts of himself only those he had known for a century had ever seen. Taako becoming increasingly comfortable with saying  _ I love you _ , with saying  _ I trust you _ , with saying  _ I'm not okay,  _ and Kravitz realizing for once that he too had someone to confide in. Taako at their wedding ceremony, adorned in flowers and smiling without a hint of pretence. Taako.

Just as Kravitz pulled the pan from the oven, the front door opened. The timing was impeccable.

"Krav, you won't fuckin believe- oh?" 

Taako came to a pleasantly surprised stop in the doorway, clearly impressed. "I'm woefully underdressed for a date night," he said, sauntering into the kitchen. 

"We're staying in anyway, dear," Kravitz said, setting dinner down on the counter before turning and taking Taako's hands. "Besides, you look radiant."

"Careful, keep buttering me up I'll end up marrying you again," Taako said with a laugh.

"I couldn't go through that ordeal again," Kravitz said as Taako leaned into his chest. "Two days of celebration is enough."

"Boring," teased Taako.

"That's me. Happy anniversary, my love."

Kravitz felt Taako stiffen. He took a step back and looked at Kravitz, his expression both confused and afraid. 

"Anniversary? No, that's not- not already?" he said, brow furrowed. 

Kravitz tilted his head. "Yes, it's our wedding anniversary. It's okay if it slipped your mind, it happens."

Taako was shaking his head, eyes unfocused. Kravitz felt a cold fear settle in his chest.

"I forgot," Taako said. There was a clear attempt at nonchalance that rang hollow and only made Kravitz worry more.

"Taako, it's absolutely okay. I've forgotten notable dates too," Kravitz assured him.

"It's not okay." Taako stepped further away, arms crossed over his chest, nails embedded in his biceps. His breathing was shallow and jaw so tightly clenched it was a wonder his teeth didn't crack. 

The sudden change in his mood terrified Kravitz. It was clearly a panic attack, but the severity didn't seem to match the simple mistake. 

Kravitz gently guided Taako to the living room, careful not to touch him too much and overwhelm him further into his panic. All the while Kravitz spoke, reigning in the worry in his voice.

"Couples forget anniversaries all the time, Taako, and I promise you that I don't blame you. I'm not upset in the least. Gods, I only remembered myself because I had it written down in my calendar."

"What else am I forgetting?" Taako managed through clenched teeth. "What else is gonna slip my mind, just- gone! Things I'm not gonna get back…"

He trailed off, still tightly wound and hardly breathing. 

It washed over Kravitz like an ice flow that Taako had been worried about this for some time. Forgetting, not fully in control of his own memories, losing things and facts and people to time and the flaws of the mind.

"Taako, listen. Look at me." Taako's eyes slid to Kravitz's direction, wide and blank. "It's normal to forget little things like this-"

"This isn't little," Taako insisted. "Shit's important, Krav."

"This is one date out of many," Kravitz said. "An important date to us, certainly, but just another date to keep track of. You have so much to keep in mind with the school and your social life and everything else. You're busy often. Not remembering this one thing doesn't mean you're failing."

Taako was focused on Kravitz, finally. He didn't look particularly convinced, and if Kravitz was honest he didn't feel he was being convincing at all, but anything was better than the blank, horrified gaze into nothingness. 

"Forgetting happens," Kravitz finished. "That's the nature of things. But I promise you that I will help however I can. I'll write everything down if that's what it takes, though I don't think you really need it. You have a sharp mind, Taako, and a forgotten date doesn't change that."

"I'm… I'm fucking terrified," Taako admitted, looking away. "I'm only getting older, my man, this shit won't get easier."

Kravitz put an arm out, and Taako leaned into him, arms still crossed but no longer clinging to himself as if he feared falling apart. 

"Maybe so, though I personally doubt it," Kravitz said. "Like I said, you're sharp. I can't see that changing with age."

Taako shrugged. "Says you, mister handsome and young forever."

"You're deflecting."

Taako glared, which was as reassuring as it was scathing. Kravitz held his gaze.

With a huff, Taako said, "I'm afraid of forgetting, Kravitz. I have every right to be afraid, I know it's normal and shit but… I forgot about Lup, I forgot an entire century of my life, I had holes in my childhood for a decade. Not gonna get over that any time soon."

"Of course not," Kravitz said, rubbing Taako's back and feeling the tension melt bit by bit. "Nobody is expecting you too."

"I am," Taako said quietly, then scoffed. "Leave it to me to go into dramatics on our anniversary. Real class act on my part. Let's go on Fantasy Jerry Springer so I can televise my hysterics."

"Hey," Kravitz said as he kissed Taako's head, "no more self deprecation tonight. I don't blame you, and you need to be easier on yourself. We can keep talking through this if you'd like or we can eat dinner and watch a scroll, but if you need a minute to pull yourself together I won't keep you."

Taako was relaxed against Kravitz's side. His expression was miserable, but he was back into himself. "I need to powder my nose," he said after a moment. 

"You do that," Kravitz said. "I'll get the table set and we'll have a nice dinner."

"As nice as it can be without my guidance," Taako said, and Kravitz laughed under his breath. 

Very few others had seen the vulnerable, afraid Taako, his anxieties on display and words so raw. Kravitz knew one talk mid-panic attack wouldn't be enough to quell his fears. A hundred talks might never be enough.

But he would talk it out with Taako nonetheless, offer reassurances and dispel fears, listen when needed and distract when necessary.

When Taako emerged a few minutes later with no sign that he had been panicking moments before, Kravitz smiled at him. Taako wrapped his arms around Kravitz and held him tightly. A wordless  _ thank you, I love you _ . 

"Alright hot stuff, let's assess the damage," Taako said.

"I'm married to the best chef in the world, I'm sure it's fine," laughed Kravitz.

"We'll see," Taako said as he pulled the chair out for Kravitz. "Don't think I'll go easy on you just because you're pretty."

"Of course."

**Author's Note:**

> im trying to get back into writing more often and what better way than projecting am i right fhjzbdj
> 
> comments are Cool!!


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